#musings #MomentsOfFlow #soul #Adoptive-Parent-In-Waiting

I’ve written previously about my moments of experiencing flow.  (See the Moments Of Flow post here!)  Just go with the flow

Paolo Coelho says, “When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it.”  I think he’s indirectly talking about Flow when he says that.  When you’re in the moment, and doing the next right thing, and moving gracefully and intentionally, then it just seems like life is guiding you along.  Like you’re in a river and following the current.

I love this feeling – I love when I can feel Flow working for me in my life.  And this feeling has been coming back to me over the course of these past few weeks.

One of the biggest challenges of the adoption wait has been feeling stuck – feeling frozen in time and place.  With every decision and plan that’s been presented to Tee and me, I’ve felt like I’ve needed to postpone, to delay, to not make any major moves until the baby comes home.  Wait until the baby comes home to apply for new jobs.  Wait until the baby comes home to look for a new place to live.  Even the littlest things, like waiting for the baby to come home to set up a visit with a particular friend or to start saving up for the honeymoon we haven’t taken yet.

That feeling that I’m stuck, that I can’t make any moves in any direction – I think it’s made the adoption wait a lot harder than it’s needed to be.  It’s important for my soul that I am always growing, changing, and reaching.  In order to feel like you’re in the Flow, you have to feel like you’re moving.  You can’t get anywhere when you are frozen.  I’m not talking about stillness – calm, peaceful stillness…  That sounds lovely, cultivating stillness and peace in your life.  Being frozen is something different.

Ever since I took myself off hold, pressing my internal defrost button, I’ve felt so  much better.  Things have been falling into place.  There are difficult things happening, but I am moving myself forward, taking the next rig11215731_10153771532108593_6922398325195053921_nht step each time, and I have confidence that the flow is guiding me along.  It makes it easier to wait for Our Baby when I feel like I am living my life.  And ever since I started to take myself off hold, to unfreeze myself – things have been falling into place in this magical, wonderful way.

That’s what happens, when you let go and go with the flow.  It’s magic.  Crazy beautiful wonderful magic.  When things start falling into place, it helps me to get some of my faith back.  It’s still a challenge – because there’s so much uncertainty right now.  But going with the flow is helping me to fill my heart with joy and peace, and to melt my worries away.


#Adoptive-Parent-In-Waiting #hopes #strategies

Sometimes we are held hostage by our own expectations.  At least, I am.

I expect things to work out a certain way and then, when they don’t, I am crushed.  Crushed.  It doesn’t feel good to be crushed.

anne lamottAnne Lamott says –

Sidebar: Was every wise statement written by Anne Lamott?  Possibly.

-“Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.”

It’s true that I am happiest and freest when I live my life without attachment to any specific outcome.  But it’s so hard to live like that with any consistency.

Sometimes I browse the internet looking for blogging inspiration.  One day I googled “flow” and scanned through images to see what caught my eye.  I found this image: free yourself

A bird, flying free of its cage.

Survival Strategy # 3: Let go.

Let go of all your expectations about when things will happen and how things will happen.  You can’t control how your life turns out.  You can let go; you can relinquish control, and you can set yourself free.

Hope # 3: Looking forward to bedtime reading with Our Babadoption2y.

Tee and I were in Kohl’s last Christmas, shopping for gifts, and we were looking in the book section for a picture book for one of our nieces.  We found a book called I Love You Stinky Face by Lisa McCourt.  We decided against buying it for our niece, thinking that maaaybe her parents wouldn’t like if we tried to introduce Stinky Face as a catchy new nickname.  (Our six-year-old nephew would have LOVED it!)

We decided to get the book for Our Baby.  So, Stinky Face, come home soon!


I Can’t Stop Reposting SARK #soul #nonstop

I was given my first SARK book at Boston University.  I was working in the Student Activities Office during my senior year, and one of my faculty advisers gave the book Succulent Wild Women as a graduation gift.

I loved it.  SARK’s books are about creativity, friendship, prosperity, and inspiration.  And they’re colorful and beautiful and quirky.  The author’s actual name is Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy; SARK is her pen name.  Her books are incredibly beautiful.  (See below for an image of the inside of one of her playful, lovely books!)  I started giving SARK books as gifts compulsively.


Recently I’ve discovered SARK’s Facebook page, and it’s been wonderful #soul food.  She posts beautiful images and quotes, some hers and some from others.  I’ve been reposting them, sharing them constantly.

I really like this SARK quote: Invent your world.  Surround yourself with people, color, sounds, and work that nourish you.  

The thing11215731_10153771532108593_6922398325195053921_ns that nourish me – that’s what I need around.  Healthy food – love – fresh air – nature – colors.  I am very intentional about my space.  I like my space to be warm and inviting and comforting and comfortable.  And I like the people around me to be those things, too.

More and more, I’ve been using social media as a vehicle for inspiration and creativity.  I’ve only been ‘following’ the pages and the people who fill my life with positivity and beauty.   There’s a lot to worry about and to fret about in life – there always has been , and there always will be.  If I choose to surround myself with peace and joy, though, my worries melt away and my heart is filled with serenity.


Autumn Awesomeness #soul

grunge background with autumn leaves

When it’s fall, trees rule all.

There are other times of year when other aspects of nature are most magnificent – flowers, the ocean, the sky.  But in autumn – it’s the trees, hands down.

I’ve always felt a strong connection with trees.  When I was a kid, I didn’t have a tremendous relationship with nature – I didn’t plant a garden, I didn’t care much for flowers, and I didn’t have a lot of experience with mountains or wilderness.  But I did love trees.  I wanted to climb them and I wanted to cuddle up in their branches with a good book.  I w12193838_10153721486209837_5434829348101159105_nrote a novel about a bunch of kids who used to hang out in a cherry tree.  (One of them fell out of the tree and died.  I was a little morbid as a young writer.)

The trees along I-83 have been making my commute way lovelier these past few weeks.  And the Fire Tree in our backyard is turning a brilliant bright red; the leaves have been gradually falling, draping a beautiful crimson blanket around the base of the tree, like the blanket we wrap around the base of our Christmas tree every December.  It makes me feel lucky to live in a world with Novembers.


Brave Enough #mind #soul

I just finished reading Brave Enough, a book of quotes by Cheryl Strayed.41M6lbNP1wL._SX383_BO1,204,203,200_  It’s a sweet and simple book – each page has an inspiring quote from one of Cheryl’s previous writings.  (Honestly, almost everything in Tiny Beautiful Things, which is my favorite of Cheryl’s books, is inspiring.  I have no idea how they culled the list of quotes so that the book could be only 135 pages long.)

Here are a few of my favorites:

“Don’t lament so much about how your career is going to turn out.  You don’t have a career.  You have a life.  Do the work.  Keep the faith.  Be true blue.  You are a writer because you write.  Keep writing and quit your bitching.  Your book has a birthday.  You don’t know what it is yet.”

“There is a middle path, but it only goes in one direction: toward the light.  Your light.  The one that goes blink, blink, blink inside your chest when you know what you’re doing is right.”

“The narratives we create in order to justify our actions and choices become in so many ways who we are. They are the things we say back to ourselves to explain our complicated lives. Perhaps the reason you’ve not yet been able to forgive yourself is that you’re still invested in your self-loathing. Perhaps not forgiving yourself is the flip side of your stealing-this-now cycle. Would you be a better or worse person if you forgave yourself for the bad things you did? If you perpetually condemn yourself for being a liar and a thief, does that make you good?”

“Trust that all you’ve learned was worth learning, no matter what answer you have or do not have about what practical use it has in your life.  Let whatever mysterious starlight that guided you this far guide you onward into the crazy beauty that awaits.”

“The body knows.  When your heart sinks.  When you feel sick to your gut.  When something blossoms in your chest.  When your brain gloriously pops.  That’s your body telling you the One True Thing.  Listen to it.”

“Real change happens on the level of the gesture.  It’s one person doing one thing differently than he or she has done it before.”

Acceptance has everything to do with simplicity, with sitting in the ordinary place, with bearing witness to the plain facts of our life, with not just starting at the essential, but ending up there … Acceptance asks only that you embrace what is true.
“Humility is about refusing to get all tangled up with yourself.  It’s about surrender, receptivity, awareness, simplicity.  Breathing in.  Breathing out.”

“Trusting yourself means living out what you already know to be true.”

“You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt.  You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding.”

Read this book immediately; it will take you less than a day.

Tee and I are going to see Cheryl Strayed speak at Sixth and I this month – I am so excited.  It’s going to be major #spirit food.


DWTS Life Lessons #guiltypleasures #musings

I couldn’t sleep last night so I caught myself up on the current season of Dancing With The Stars.  I found some wisdom as I watched.  dancing-with-the-stars-cast-leak

I am weirdly obsessed with DWTS.  I find it so entertaining.  I usually find a celebrity, sometimes someone I’ve never heard of before the season’s start, and cheer for them with great spirit.

During the last season of Dancing With The Stars this past spring, Tee and I were huge fans of Patti LaBelle.  She was so entertaining and full of life; everyone on the cast and in the audience seemed enthralled with her.

Patti danced during the same season as Noah Galloway, a war hero who lost an arm and a leg in the Iraq war.  There was one week when Patti experienced a knee injury and, in typical DWTS fashion, the show features a dramatic montage highlighting her injury and drumming up suspense about how she’d be able to dance through it.  Patti danced a foxtrot with her pro partner, Artem, and then the two joined Erin Andrews (my favorite from Season 10!) for their post/dance chitchat.

Erin inquired politely about Patti’s knee, and Patti, in her charming way, got real with her.  “Let’s get some perspective, people; Noah only has one leg.”

Say it loud, Patti.  These wise DWTS words really helped Tee and me during that following week when we experienced some tough personal news.  We’d look at each other and think – yeah, let’s get some perspective.  That would keep us from getting sucked into pointless self-pity.

Last night, I had another DWTS wisdom moment.  My current obsession is Bindi Irwin, wildlife conservationist and daughter of the Crocodile Hunter.  She’s dancing with Derek Hough and they’ve been killing it.  Plus – she hwpid-wp-1396113803624as an infectious spirit and such charm and personality.

The episode I watched last night was DWTS’s Season 21 Halloween Night.  Bindi was portraying a vampire queen, and she had to be scary and intimidating, difficult for a girl so naturally sweet.  In the intro to the dance, Bindi said she had to think of this portrayal in a dfferent way – she tried to be strong rather than scary.

“Never confuse kindness with weakness,” she said.

I like that a lot.  I think of myself as kind and gentle, but I don’t want to look at myself, or have the world see me, as weak. Being a nice person doesn’t mean you’re not strong.  In fact, it takes a lot of strength to be kind and gentle.  I like that I get words of wisdom from teenaged wildlife conservationists.  Many thanks to DWTS.


#heart #mind #spirit 

Sometimes my blog posts are just extended Facebook updates – tweets with 1,400 characters instead of 140.  This is going to be one of those posts.  12190035_906792022708574_2152277150160036297_n

My weekends are generally full of farming, family, and reading.

This weekend, we spent Sunday afternoon at Two Boots Farm in Hampstead, MD, which is owned by friends.  With crates of apples and a cider press built by a friend of Two Boots, everyone present worked together to make gallons and gallons and gallons of amazing apple cider!  I spent Saturday watching my niece and my nephew play soccer.  And,  when91PgRZrbnXLever I had a free moment this weekend, I read Career of Evil by Robert Galbraith (a.k.a. J.K. Rowling), which is wonderfully entertaining so far.  (And creepy!)

Tee and I have a lot happening in our lives right now.  It’s pretty overwhelming.  It can help to find roots in a balanced, grounded life.