When I’m writing for the blog, I try to stay a little ahead of myself. It’s the 17th of May as I write this, and my posts for May 19th and May 23rd are already written and ready to publish. Ideally, I’d be way more ahead of schedule than this! I love it when the next six posts are ready to publish. But it is what it is for the moment.

It’s always interesting to be writing posts ahead of time, because by the time they’re published, often things have changed. Sometimes I write a post about feeling overwhelmed or in a funk, and then by the time it’s published, I’m like, “Huh. That was a hard time, but right now things are easy-peezy-lemon-squeezy.”

This is on my mind today because it’s a Sunday, and yesterday my post about Sunday Morning Writing was published. It was published yesterday, but I wrote that post exactly two weeks ago, which was the LAST time that Tamara took the boys for a Sunday morning hike so that I could have some time to write.

She did that again today. She’s pretty awesome, and I’m very grateful.

Man – this writing thing has been hard lately. When schools first closed, it was like an extended spring break for two weeks. I wasn’t working from home yet, and Tamara hadn’t started her new jobs yet working for two local organic farmers. It was blissful. So much family time, so much time to write, and so little stress.

Currently I am struggling to meet the demands of my job while caring for the boys every day, and I haven’t been very disciplined about my writing. I’m not trying to beat myself up, and I’m not even that upset with myself. This is a difficult time, and “I can’t motivate to write my novel during my free time” is about the first worldiest and most privileged of all the first world/privileged problems I can think of. It’s no big deal. There are more important things in life, and there have been other things on my mind and filling my free time, which I’m sure I’ll write about at some point.

This morning, after Tamara left with the boys, I re-read my Sunday Morning Writing post from two weeks ago. The plan I wrote for myself that day involved early morning writing (4 a.m. every day) on whatever I felt like writing, and then weekend nap times for the novel, including a word count. That hasn’t happened. The early mornings are really tough for me right now, because (imagine this) it’s been really difficult to drag myself out of bed when my alarms starts beeping at 4 a.m. For the weekend naptimes, sometimes a really good novel or a need to tidy the house for my own serenity interferes. In fact, novels have been to blame for my struggle to wake early, too; I’ve had several great reads in a row (Eight Perfect Murders, The Holdout, Darling Rose Gold, A Good Marriage, Magpie Murders, The Glass Hotel) and sometimes a mix of too much caffeine and my need to know what’s going to happen next in the book means I stay up way too late and then 4 a.m. arrives much too quickly after bedtime.

There’s no need to change my plan. It’s a good plan – just a difficult time of life. I’ll keep trying to wake up early, to focus on fiction writing during weekend naptime, to keep my writing practice and goals at the forefront. I’ll plan for summertime writing, which is only a few weeks away. And I’ll maintain a balance for myself – self-care, self-discipline, and acceptance of this crazy time of life.

That’s the plan. We’ll see what happens. Onward!

One Sunday morning a few weeks ago, Tamara took the boys for a hike by the river so that I could get some writing done.

I’ve been writing in bits and pieces, and it’s frustrating and difficult. It’s so hard to move forward with a project. In my fantasies, I live in a cabin in the mountains, and I spend all day every day thinking about whatever novel or short story I am currently writing, with interludes of family time and service work.

But in my real life? I have a full-time job that requires my energy and focus throughout the week, and it’s hard to maintain any momentum when it comes to my fiction projects.

I told Tamara that I felt like I need a huge chunk of time – hours, not minutes – to recharge my writing battery and to reorganize my writing projects. And she made it happen for me without thinking twice. I am often amazed at how supportive Tamara is of this little side hustle of mine that is really just for me. I have hopes and dreams, for sure, of generating income and publishing work, but right now? My writing time has zero concrete outcome other than the preservation of my sanity. I truly hope that the end of my story is: She wrote without publication or income for years and then finally made her writing dream a reality. But I don’t think Tamara minds if that’s not the outcome; she’s just supportive. I’m so grateful for that kind of unconditional support.

It’s amazing how much easier it is to really sink into my writing when I have hours instead of minutes to write. It even allows me to daydream – to take a minute away from the computer to actually think about what I’m trying to do, or to think about what I’m trying to think about. I can take BREAKS. That’s the kind of writing time I love – a chunk of time so long that I actually require little breaks to grab coffee and stretch my legs.

I spent that long Sunday morning, while Tamara took the boys hiking, reorganizing my list of writing projects; looking through drafted blog posts and updating my editorial calendar; and making a writing schedule so that I could maintain focus on my writing projects.

This is what I came up with:

• Every day, I wake up at 4 and I write until the boys wake up. This can be whatever kind of writing – fiction, blogging, journaling. It can even be time devoted to organizing my writing life, via my editorial calendar or an outline for a novel or story. If I’m willing to wake up at 4, I will write whatever I have the energy and creativity to write, with no restrictions.
• On weekends, the boys’ nap time is my writing time. Not only that – there will be a word count goal for that writing time. I’m going to start with 500 words until I get a groove going, but I hope to up it quickly.

I wish there was more time; I hope that there will be more time! But this is my minimum, for now. So grateful for a long Sunday morning to try to wrap my head and my heart around my writing life.