The Questions

My goal for this year has been to slow things down so I can live my life more intentionally.

I’m impulsive by nature, and, much as I talk about mindfulness, I am not a naturally mindful or present person. I’m often distracted, my brain either consumed by the past or the future. When a decision needs to be made, I can get caught up in the moment and end up saying or doing something that is not aligned with my personal values.

Recently I decided that I wanted to come up with questions I can ask myself in the moment when I am about to say or do something. The questions would be unique to me; they’d be questions that would help me to check in with who I am and be sure that I am acting in a way that’s centered around my values and not other people’s expectations.

The questions I came up with are NOT unique to me, as it turns out. In fact, they’re almost verbatim the questions that I’ve heard people recommend in rooms of recovery – questions to ask yourself before you speak.

1. Is it kind?

2. Is it helpful?

3. Is it true?

I had forgotten about these questions. Their intent, I think, is to help people to realize that we don’t always have to say everything we think – particularly if what we want to say is not kind, helpful, or true. I mostly think of these questions when it comes to what I say, but they’re also effective for checking in before I act. I tweaked them, just a little, so that I could use them every time I need to make a decision about what to say or do.

  1. Am I being honest?
  2. Am I being kind?
  3. Am I being authentically myself?

It’s early in the morning as I write this, and I have a day full of decisions ahead of me. Will those questions help me to slow down and be intentional with my choices and my words? We shall see.

selective focus photo of a flower
Photo by Vitaly Vlasov on


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s