Once again, I am thinking about the need to slow down and do one thing at a time.
Every few months, I think about slowing things down. It’s on my mind this week because I’m reading a wonderful book called The Mindful Kind by Rachael Kable, an author who hosts a podcast of the same name. I’m enjoying this book so much. And when I read about mindfulness, it reminds me of my extremely unmindful tendencies. I have a tendency to multitask, to have a podcast or a TV show on as background noise. I have a tendency to get caught up in the whirlwind of other people’s schedules and emotions, even when I’ve set an intention myself to slow down and do one thing at a time, fully.
I looked through old blog posts and I found one from 2015 called Introducing Mantra Monday. (SPOILER ALERT: I don’t think I ever wrote about Mantra Monday again!) The mantra I chose for that day was do one thing at a time, fully.
Sigh. So simple. So challenging.
My phone is a big barrier to this – always there to pick up, check a text, write an e-mail, distract me from the task at hand. Just technology in general makes it difficult! At work the other day, I started to write a note, then got an e-mail and drafted a reply, then went back to edit something in a treatment plan, and suddenly was planning a group I’m running on Thursday.
Other than my phone and technology, I would say that the biggest barriers to doing one thing at a time are my tendency to stress and overthink; my habit of having background noise; and my talent at multitasking.
The background noise thing is tricky. If I’m about to do something I don’t want to do, like clean the bathroom or wash dishes, I automatically reach for the iPad to put on a podcast or a TV show for the background. This obviously interferes with my ability to do those jobs mindfully. But it even becomes a problem with things I do want to do – like writing. Sometimes I will put a TV show on in the background while I’m writing – and I love to write!
Rachael Kable wrote about this in The Mindful Kind. She talks about how we sometimes practice self-care but do it mindlessly – like, taking a bath while watching a TV show, so that the bath is not a fully mindful and relaxing activity. I totally related to that. Sometimes I even put a TV show on in the background while I’m spending time with my kids, which is the time in my life when I want to be the most mindful, the most present! It’s a lifelong habit, and it’s hard to change it.
And then – my tendency to stress and overthink. If I am not careful, my sensitivity to other people and my stress level can combine and make it so that I am incapable of focusing on one thing at a time. My brain is racing to figure out how to respond, what action to take – or I reach for something distracting or numbing to avoid the painful feelings associated with overthinking and stress.
Finally – the multitasking. Which is sort of a talent and sort of a curse! I noticed it this morning; I was melting butter for our pancake breakfast, and I started to change out of my running clothes while I waited for the butter to melt. WHY? The butter was only going to take 30 seconds! At some point in my life, I started doing little things like this, increasing my speed at getting things done but decreasing my ability to stay in the present moment. I’m so glad I noticed it today, because we can’t change what we don’t notice.
I’ve been a little sick this past week – a fever and a sore throat. Illness sometimes helps me to be more mindful. I have less energy to zoom from task to task; I can feel myself walking more slowly and giving myself time to think before I respond to questions from others. I set four alarms on my phone one day, with messages like slow down , speak slowly and softly, and stretch and breathe; the alarms were ineffective at reminding me to slow the pace of my day.
But my book, The Mindful Kind, is helping a lot. And my blogging helps.
Slow down. Do one thing at a time fully. Enjoy every moment.