parenting

Mom Goals

I am definitely a resolution maker, an intention setter. I like to look at my life, evaluate, and make goals for how I want to do things differently.

Most of the time, these are personal goals. However, since becoming a parent in July 2016, I’ve been thinking about different kinds of resolutions – things I want to do because I want them for my children and my family.

These resolutions – maybe they should be called Mom Goals – will benefit everyone in my family, including me. But they didn’t really occur to me before becoming a parent. Or maybe I wasn’t able to follow through on them without a larger purpose being involved.

Anyway, this is my number one Mom Goal – giving warm greetings and farewells.

Tee and I are pretty good at doing this with each other, but I am not always the best at these in social settings. I have a tendency toward Irish good-byes. I have no idea why they’re called Irish good-byes, but an Irish good-bye is when you just sort of disappear from a party without saying good-bye to anyone there.

https://thebolditalic.com/an-illustrated-guide-to-irish-slurs-186b1caecacd

And, I mean, really – saying good-bye to EVERYONE at a party can take an extra hour and a lot of energy. However, I really want to foster warm and loving transitions for Teddy and any future kids. I want them to give hugs and kisses, if they feel like it, and at the minimum I want to walk them through the motions of saying hello and good-bye.

Sometimes as an adult, I meet people who just seem to radiate warmth and sunshine. They’re aggressively friendly without being overbearing. I love these people. I am not one of them, and I probably never will be, and that is okay. But I do want to give my kids the gift of regular rituals of hellos and good-byes. For Teddy right now, it involves blowing kisses, giving hugs, or an awkward wave, depending on his comfort level.

This is not something that comes naturally to me. But when I stop to think about it, my family has always had good-bye rituals with each other. When one of us was piling in the car to drive away on a trip, we’d stand in the driveway or on the front stoop and wave as they pulled away. I did this with my dad as he got in his car to drive back up the East Coast after visiting me at an Extended Stay America in Miami. I stood by the front door of the hotel, waited patiently as he got situated, and I waved until he drove around the side of the building and out of my sight. I’m so glad I did that. It was the last time I saw my dad. He died less than six weeks later.

The ways that we say hello and good-bye are so important. It’s why we always want to visit new babies, even though a lot of us think new babies are funny-looking and boring.  (Just me?) We want to greet them – we want to welcome them warmly into the world, and we want to welcome their parents into their new role.

So, when we have guests who are packing up to leave our house, I gently scoop Teddy up and he, Tee, and I walk our guests to the door and give them good-bye hugs. And if we’re at a party, even when I really want to scoot out the door unnoticed, I show Teddy how to say thanks and we blow good-bye kisses. He knows the routine now, and he gets a kick out of the reaction he gets from others when he says “Mwah!”

Anyway – good-bye, readers! So nice to see you.  Mwah!

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