All My Passions #mind #heart

Write what you know.  Write what you’re passionate about.

Lately, I feel a little lost – like I’m not sure what exactly I’m passionate about.

Sometimes, when I’m feeling like this, I make a list.  It helps me to sift through my crazy monkey mind of thoughts.

THINGS I CARE ABOUT DEEPLY – Family.  Friendship.  Honesty.  Children.  Mental health.  Writing.  Reading.  Books!  The outdoors.  Authenticity.  Personal growth.  Wellness.  Recovery.  Spirituality.  Balance.

THINGS I WANT TO BE – A writer.  A play therapist.  A farmer.  A mommy.  A wife.  Peaceful.  Loving.  Kind.  Healthy.  Strong.  Graceful.  Faith-full.  Mindful.

THINGS I DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH AT ALL EVER EVER AGAIN – Bureaucracy.  Red tape.  Emergency petitions.  Having a boss.

I’ve been daydreaming about going into private practice – doing play therapy with little kids all day long.  Having a sweet and lovely little office set up just the way I like it.  Working in a place that values mindfulness and kindness and honesty and openness.

I’ve been obsessing about finding a new job for a little while now.  I idealize new jobs and fresh starts – chances to find the kind of employment utopian paradise where no one is annoying and everyone strives for work-life balance.

But, the thing is – I don’t even have to get a new job to get some of these things.  I can just BE these things.  I can cultivate mindfulness and wellness and balance in my life and in my workplace.superthumb

However, when we’re in a state of transition and discomfort – for example, I hate being at work these days – it makes it really hard to get to a mindful and loving place.

This week I’m taking vacation from work, which is glorious – lots of playtime with Teddy and rest and little-to-no stress about anything.  (EXCEPT the occasional bout of anxiety about job prospects, interviews, offers.  Sunshine and talks with friends have been good medicine for my anxiety.)

I am slowly zeroing in on what I want to do next.  I am taking the time and space to remember what my passions are and to mindfully consider what I want to be when I grow up.  And I am praying for the grace to be in the present moment and not constantly peeking around the corner to see what’s coming next.

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