Write what you know. Write what you’re passionate about.
Lately, I feel a little lost – like I’m not sure what exactly I’m passionate about.
Sometimes, when I’m feeling like this, I make a list. It helps me to sift through my crazy monkey mind of thoughts.
THINGS I CARE ABOUT DEEPLY – Family. Friendship. Honesty. Children. Mental health. Writing. Reading. Books! The outdoors. Authenticity. Personal growth. Wellness. Recovery. Spirituality. Balance.
THINGS I WANT TO BE – A writer. A play therapist. A farmer. A mommy. A wife. Peaceful. Loving. Kind. Healthy. Strong. Graceful. Faith-full. Mindful.
THINGS I DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH AT ALL EVER EVER AGAIN – Bureaucracy. Red tape. Emergency petitions. Having a boss.
I’ve been daydreaming about going into private practice – doing play therapy with little kids all day long. Having a sweet and lovely little office set up just the way I like it. Working in a place that values mindfulness and kindness and honesty and openness.
I’ve been obsessing about finding a new job for a little while now. I idealize new jobs and fresh starts – chances to find the kind of employment utopian paradise where no one is annoying and everyone strives for work-life balance.
But, the thing is – I don’t even have to get a new job to get some of these things. I can just BE these things. I can cultivate mindfulness and wellness and balance in my life and in my workplace.
However, when we’re in a state of transition and discomfort – for example, I hate being at work these days – it makes it really hard to get to a mindful and loving place.
This week I’m taking vacation from work, which is glorious – lots of playtime with Teddy and rest and little-to-no stress about anything. (EXCEPT the occasional bout of anxiety about job prospects, interviews, offers. Sunshine and talks with friends have been good medicine for my anxiety.)
I am slowly zeroing in on what I want to do next. I am taking the time and space to remember what my passions are and to mindfully consider what I want to be when I grow up. And I am praying for the grace to be in the present moment and not constantly peeking around the corner to see what’s coming next.
