My post-Teddy reckoning continues, I’m a little worried that I’ve done everything in my professional life wrong.
Let me explain.
When I was in undergrad at BU, I studied journalism. I was halfway through my second year when I realized that I didn’t want to be a journalist, and I was already considering social work and the nonprofit world as my field. However, I was also on track to complete my undergraduate degree in three years, and I worried that money was tight at home. So I decided to complete my journalism degree, knowing that if I did decide to do social work, I’d need to go to graduate school anyway.
Then, during my last semester, I took a creative writing class, just for the heck of it.
And I loved it. Doing my homework was fun. Participating in class was fun. But I didn’t think that much about it. I think, deep down, I started to get a bug in my soul that maybe I wanted to write creatively – but I didn’t take any steps toward making this come true.
The next year, I did AmeriCorps, and then I taught ESL in Barcelona, and then I started working at Genesee and met Tee, and then I applied to a graduate program in social work.
That’s when I did it wrong, yet again.
Because, while I love being a social worker, I most definitely did not love being in school for social work. I knew that I needed the degree to get the jobs I wanted. I also knew that I’d be having way more fun if I were in a graduate program for creative writing.
Now, six years into my social work career, I’m feeling really frustrated and stifled at my current job. And I’m wondering – do I need a new job? Or did I pick the wrong career? Should I have listened to my gut when I was working toward my MSW? Was it trying to tell me to make a different choice?
I don’t feel free lately. In fact, I feel pretty trapped.
I don’t want to feel trapped anymore.