I know an adorable boy who sometimes gets distracted and starts to feel off-track. When he starts feeling silly and mischievous, he presses his imaginary restart button – he presses his pointer finger into an invisible spot on his forehead, right between his eyes, and resets himself so that he can start fresh.
I’ve always had a hard time restarting my day when I’m in the middle of it. My favorite way to handle a difficult day has always been to go to bed. I go to bed, and then I wake up the next day, refreshed like only a morning person can be, and things will be better.
This strategy has been helpful, though it’s not always possible. When it’s the middle of a long day, and I feel the need to restart, going to bed is not an option. And I don’t really have a reliable back-up strategy.
Oftentimes, any fresh start will help me to press my imaginary restart button – starting a new job, getting a new car, coming back home after a vacation or a trip, etc. Which, again, is helpful – but it’s not always easy to find something that is simple enough to do and powerful enough to generate that amazing and refreshing restart feeling.
I feel like I need a restart button all the time; I definitely need one right now. I’ve been caught up in my head and in the painfulness of the adoption wait, and I’d like to hit refresh and get myself to a better head space. Some of this desire is not healthy for me; it’s about me wanting to restart so that I can be perfect. I mess up, and then I want to restart everything so that I can do it better – perfectly. That’s not healthy and productive. That’s not good self-care or self-love.
However, sometimes I feel the desire to restart, not because I want to do things perfectly, but because I am feeling stuck and need to reboot so I can feel refreshed and unstuck. It’s not about being perfect – it’s about being authentic, being the person I want to be and the person I am.
Last night, Tee and I went to see Brene Brown give a talk at Sixth and I in D.C. I am sure I’ll be blogging in the near future about the talk and some of the thoughts it stirred up in my head, but right now, I can only share that this talk was as incredible as expected, and it felt like a good opportunity for a restart. Brene talks about so many things – shame, vulnerability, strength, courage, compassion, boundaries – and her research into resiliency and how we can live our lives in a wholehearted way makes so much sense to me.
You can have a restart anytime you want. And I choose today.