Writing a hundred posts means it’s time for another reflection – this time, one that’s a little broader in scope. I’m looking for themes and for lessons learned. Writing this blog has been a therapeutic exercise and a creative endeavor. When we write, when we muse, when we explore, we learn things we didn’t know and we see things we didn’t see.
Theme/Lesson # 1: There is a significant relationship between balance and the adoption wait.
This waiting period is ALL ABOUT BALANCE. I don’t think I realized this before I started blogging. Before I started blogging, I knew I wanted to feel more balanced, and I knew that achieving balance would be good self-care – and good self-care would help me to stay strong during the adoption wait.
But there’s a little more to it than that.
Right now, I am both a parent and not a parent. I’m an Adoptive-Parent-In-Waiting – and, I’m just an independent, spontaneous childless individual who’s been married for three years, likes to lay in bed and watch TV shows when she feels slightly ill, and has read 40 books (for pleasure) this year.
Right now, I both need to get ready for Our Baby and need to NOT get ready for Our Baby. I have to sort baby clothes by size and put them away and I have to assemble strollers – and also, I need to NOT do those things, and just jump in the car and go swimming at the river on a moment’s notice, because for my sanity, I need to live my life in action and not just sit at home waiting for Our Baby.
I have one foot in the life that’s coming and I have one foot in the life I have now. In between these two lives is an abyss of waiting, hoping, excitement, nerves, doubt, and belief; I’m straddling that abyss. There’s not really a way around that – at least, there’s no way I can see.
Theme/Lesson # 2: My reflection posts – #How’sMyBalance? – aren’t perfect, but they are meaningful.
However, counting my blog posts about a particular subject isn’t a foolproof way to measure how thoroughly I am feeding that aspect of self. My counts measure something – but I’m not sure exactly what it is.
For example – I’ve been relatively consistent about taking care of my #body over the past six months; I’ve been eating healthy food and I’ve been running almost every day. Of my four quadrants, I sometimes am best at nourishing my #body. Yet, by my count, I have the fewest posts about #body.
So, having fewer posts doesn’t mean that I am not nourishing my body. BUT I think it speaks to a lack of diversity in my diet and my exercise. I tend to write the most about things that are new and different. I’m not going to write 30 posts per month about sitting down and eating dinner with Tee, even though that is major #heart food for me. And I’m not going to write 30 posts per month about running around my neighborhood. So I think that when I’m writing fewer posts, it usually highlights that I’m not being very diverse about how I nurture that aspect of self. And I think diversity is important – diverse habits keep me from falling into a rut. I’m going to work on fostering diversity is all my balance quadrants.
Sidebar: I’ve only written one post about nourishing my #spirit. The #spirit aspect was a new concept I introduced after I started blogging – nourishing my #spirit is about doing things that are new and different and refreshing, things that help me to learn and to grow – doing things that are novelties for me. I’m going to try to incorporate more #spirit posts from this point forward.
Theme/Lesson # 3: Writing is therapeutic.
Duh. Of course, writing is therapeutic. I’ve been journaling since I was seven years old. This is not a sudden revelation.
However, often there are things I know, but don’t always follow through on. I know that meditation helps me to feel calm and centered. Yet I sometimes go months and months without doing it. Then, one day, I decide to meditate for a few minutes, and it feels so calming and lovely that I kick myself for forgetting how helpful meditation is for me.
Until beginning to write with rhythm and regularity, I didn’t realize how therapeutic it would be for me to write about our adoption wait. I’ve written eight #Adoptive-Parent-In-Waiting posts, and it’s really helped me to name my woes, to focus on my hopes, and just to vent about the many ups and downs of being a future adoptive parent.
Theme/Lesson # 4: When I am experiencing change or stress, it is EXTREMELY important for me to maintain my balance!
I have a tendency to go to extremes – I’ll lean heavy into running without spending time with friends, I’ll absorb myself in books without setting aside time for meditation or yoga. This waiting period has tested me beyond what I could have imagined,and it’s been crucial for me to maintain a healthy routine of self-care.
Writing this blog has forced me to be mindful of how I am engaging in self-care. If I’ve only written #mind posts for two weeks, I know I’m caught up in the cerebral and need to meet a friend for coffee. When I’m having a difficult time with the adoption wait, I instinctively know that I need to maintain my exercise routine (#body) and have a little solo time (#soul) to recharge.
Theme/Lesson # 5: Sometimes it’s good to go off script.
I started off this endeavor with a focus – looking at the world through the lens of heartsoulmindbody balance. But every once in a while, I just write. I just muse about something that has little-to-nothing to do with balance. And sometimes that takes me in unintended directions, and I enjoy that a lot.