adoption · self-care

#Adoptive-Parent-In-Waiting #hopes #woes #strategies

Sometimes I find it difficult to balance being positive and grateful with being honest and authentic.

Positive & Grateful KEM says that you have to trust the timing of your life.  Our Baby is coming home to us, and Our Baby will come at the perfect time.B_WV0x7VEAAkOrI

Honest & Authentic KEM says that waiting is really hard and that being patient has never been one of her strengths.

I think there is merit to each of these approaches, but I find that I am happiest when I choose positivity and gratitude.  Subsequently, I will start with my hopes today.

Hope Number Two: Tee and I are insanely grateful to all the family and friends who’ve passed onfour-hearts-7529657 clothing and other baby accoutrements to us!  I’ve spent many happy hours going through adorable baby clothes and trying to get things organized and tidy in Our Baby’s room.  The most recent gift is a bassinet from my sister-in-law and my brother – the bassinet that my wonderful nephew and my three wonderful nieces all slept in as newborn babies.  I can’t think of anything more special.

Woe Number Ten:  This feeling that everything in life is on hold.

It’s so hard not to think of things in terms of “when Our Baby comes” or “after Our Baby comes.”  I’ll think about meeting up with an old friend from out-of-state, and I’ll think, “We should make a plan to get together, after the baby comes.”  “We’ll throw a big adoption party, after the baby comes.”  There are bigger things, too – Tee and I are conthere-is-only-one-way-to-happiness-and-that-is-to-cease-worrying-7sidering finding a new house and relocating the farm, both of which seem daunting to do before Our Baby comes.

Of course, this isn’t the way we want to think about things.  I want to keep myself in the present moment – I want to enjoy life right now, not just anticipate something wonderful that’s going to happen in a few months, weeks, or days.  But – it’s a woe that I’m struggling with.

Survival Strategy # 2: Creating rituals around problem situations.

So I figured out that Friday afternoons and evenings are difficult for me.

When we get e-mails about potential adoptive placements, they usually come between 9 and 5 on weekdays.  On Fridays at three-ish, if I haven’t gotten any adoption e-mails, then I know that Our Baby is most likely not coming home anytime in the next 72 hours.  I get real sad when that realization washes over me.

When you identify a problem, you are empowered to solve it.  With the help of my fabulous older sister and Tee, I’ve decided to begin a new ritual – Friday afternoon adventures.  Every Friday until Our Baby comes home, Tee and I are going to plan an outing that would not be possible to do with Our Baby.  There’s not a lot on our list – most of our day-to-day activities are going to include Our Baby.  We started brainstorming ideas while tubing on Sunday, and tubing is definitely on the list – we decided that it wouldn’t be safe to tube with Our Baby until they were at least a few years old!  Climbing is on the list, too, but we struggled to come up with more ideas.  I’ll have to do some polling to come up with more suggestions.  I’m hoping we won’t need too many.

One thought on “#Adoptive-Parent-In-Waiting #hopes #woes #strategies

  1. Kayaking (come with me), gun range (I’d love to join you), Horseback riding (can’t help you there unless we go to Wyoming), R-rated movie nights, photo expeditions where you have to be really quiet, Wine tasting, bike rides (can you bring a baby on a bike??), candle-making…

    I have really enjoyed reading your posts. Sending you patient energy and sharing in your apprehension and excitement!

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