Survival Strategy # 1: There are days (or weeks or months) when I delete Facebook from my phone.
It’s a self-help technique that I sometimes find necessary.
First and foremost, I sometimes find Facebook overwhelming with relation to the adoption wait. There are way too many adorable babies and birth announcements and pregnancy announcements – and while I share in the joy of my family and my friends whose families are growing, it’s not necessary for me to see that the sister of the guy who sat next to me in high school biology just had a baby boy. I wish them all the best – but, if I’m in a good mood and distracted from my adoption #woes, the last thing I need is a reminder that Our Baby hasn’t come home yet.
It’s not just the baby stuff, though. The whole phenomenon of Facebook is sometimes overwhelming to me. I know that people generally only post the best, happiest, most exciting things going on in their lives – but I can’t help it, sometimes looking at the best in others’ lives makes me think about what’s missing in mine. And I find it way easier to just delete Facebook on those days than to access my self-confidence and my faith to combat those feelings of comparison or jealousy.
Luckily for me, I mostly use Facebook on my phone, so deleting the app from my phone means that I won’t check Facebook until I download the app again. (Although sometimes I check it just to see if anyone has “liked” my blog posts!) It’s trickier if you’re someone who uses Facebook via multiple devices, like laptops and iPads and desktop computers.
This week feels like a non-Facebook week. The wait feels pretty overwhelming right now, and I think it is, for me and for Tee. I’ve been doing a lot of ‘hiding’ on Facebook – not de-friending people, but hiding the posts of acquaintances with newborn babes. Sometimes I think that this is avoidant or unhealthy – but not often. Most of the time, I recognize that this is healthy and necessary for me – a strategy to help to get through the months of waiting that have passed and those to come.