There are days when I feel desperately sad and frustrated and done with this adoption wait.
Much of this desperation has to do with my own expectations. I expected that our adoption wait would be shorter. I expected that things would work out the way I wanted them to, and when they haven’t worked out according to my timeline, I get overwhelmed and I feel like something major is wrong with me or with my life.
My expectations are related to my sense of entitlement. I think we all have a little of this in us, and it’s our job to do reality checks and to keep ourselves grounded.
Being a mother is not something I am entitled to; there are probably lots of people out there who want to be a mother and are not able to. Being a mother before I am 35 is not something I am entitled to. Being a mother without having to wait too long is not something I’m entitled to; when I am throwing myself a pity party, I remind myself that there are people struggling with infertility, people who’ve been waiting for their adoptive child for years, etc. 
I keep reminding myself of a Cheryl Strayed quote; she included these words in a Dear Sugar letter to a writer whose sense of entitlement contributed significantly to her struggles. “You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt with,” she writes. “You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding.”
Sometimes, I am so busy worrying about when Our Baby will come or why Our Baby hasn’t come yet that I forget that life is still going on all around me. The game of life isn’t on pause while I wait; I’m living it. And I have so, so much to be grateful for.
