When we have these adoption blips – these moments when there’s a potential placement – my tendency is to spiral. I get super excited and hopeful and optimistic, and then, if/when the placement doesn’t happen, I get disappointed, dejected, despondent, and hopeless.
I am going to attempt to exercise a resolution – act the way I want to feel – in order to more peacefully and calmly deal with these blips/heartaches/disappointments.
So – how do I want to feel?
-I want to feel prepared, not overwhelmed.
-I don’t want to be negative and pessimistic, telling myself This placement probably won’t happen. But I also don’t want to tell myself, This is it! This is going to be Our Baby! (Which I frequently do.)
-I want to be able to wait for news without the kind of desperate attachment that ends in either agony or ecstasy. If I have faith that Our Baby is coming home, then I can wait for news of a placement with some detachment; if the news is “no placement,” then this baby was not Our Baby, and I can be happy and thankful that this baby found Its Home.
This will be incredibly difficult for me. But, the next time a potential placement is in the mix – a blip on the adoption wait radar – I will remind myself of how I want to feel, and I will do my best to act that way.