If I were typing my Facebook ‘status’ right now, I’d write: This has been one of the hardest years of my life.
What’s happening right now is this: Tee and I are waiting to adopt a child. Officially, we’ve been waiting for about a year, but it feels like it’s been a lot longer. When I walk into a party, I notice children first. I love kids, and I generally prefer the company of children to adults. I spend all day interacting with children, and I can’t imagine enjoying any job that wasn’t child-centered.
If I were an adult who wanted to be a mother, but whose everyday life wasn’t a complete and total kid-palooza, then would this be any easier?
Honestly – probably not. I think that when our heart is really desperate for something, we see reminders of it everywhere. My Facebook feed, for example, seems to only report news of expectant mommies and newborn babes. Thank goodness for the “Hide” feature.
That’s what’s happening with me/us right now. And it’s a big reason why I’m looking for outlets to use to express myself in honest and creative ways.